Chocobo and the Holy Magicite
by Megajason X
Summary: This story is about a stupid Chocobo who goes around to get together a horde of idiots. Featuring characters from most Final Fantasy games.
1. In the beginning...

Hi. I'm Megajason X, spirit of the moon. This is my first fanfic, and i'm only 12. So don't expect too much from me. This'll probably suck. But, that's my problem. Here it is.  
  
  
{Chocobo and the holy magicite (fanfic)}  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Scene 1  
  
Mist swirls around. A chocobo rides out of it on jet propelled rollerblades.  
A huge castle forms in the mist. Chocobo doesn't stop in time and promptly smacks into it.  
  
Chocobo: Qweh?  
  
CASTLE NARSHE...  
  
A few troops are wandering around. One notices Chocobo.  
  
Narshe Guard: Halt... what the, a chocobo?  
  
Choco: Qweh!  
  
N. Guard: Or are you a dodo?  
  
Choco: Qweh!!  
  
N. Guard: Wear your translator, you idiot!  
  
Choco: Qweh? Qweh! Sorry.  
  
N. Guard: (sweatdrop)  
  
Choco: Anyhow, I am going to gather up a whole heap of people for a reason which is unknown to me.  
  
N. Guard: Why are you doing it then?   
  
Choco: I was made to by Odin himself!  
  
N. Guard: You say that as if he is god.  
  
Choco: Idiot! Odin plays god in this!  
  
N. Guard: Oh, yeah...  
  
Choco: Well anyway. Will you ask your leader for me?   
  
N. Guard: I'll try. People can't get too close to him though.  
  
Choco: He sounds mean!  
  
N. Guard: Not really. And it might be best if he doesn't join you.  
  
The guard goes off for five minutes and comes back clutching his eye.  
  
N. Guard: I couldn't get close enough to ask him. His hair poked me in the eye.   
  
Choco: Who is he?  
  
N. Guard: His name is Cloud. Get too close and he'll squewer your stomach.  
  
Choco: Cloud rules Narshe?  
  
N. Guard: Well, yeah bu...  
  
He looks around, Chocobo is nowhere in sight.  
  
Scene 2,   
  
A whole heap of nearly dead looking people mope around in the mud.  
An evil looking Skeleton walks down the street with a cart.  
  
Liche: Bring out your dead, bring out your dead, bring out your dead!  
  
A fat looking Dude walks out with a decomposing zombie.  
  
Fat Dude: Here's one!  
  
Liche: 9 GP  
  
Zombie: I'm not dead.  
  
Liche: What?  
  
Fat Dude: Nothing.  
  
Liche: He says 'es not dead.  
  
Fat Dude: 'Couse 'es dead! Why do ya think 'es decomposing all over the ground?!  
  
Zombie: It's foot and mouth disease!  
  
Liche: 'E says it's foot and mouth disease.  
  
Fat Dude: 'Course it's not foot'n'mouth disease! Watch this!  
  
The fat dude pulls the zombie's arm off.  
  
Fat Dude: See!  
  
Liche: He should be crying in agony!  
  
Zombie: Oh!...er... Daaaaaaaaaah! Arrrrraaaaaaarrrrrraaaaaagggghhhh! Orrrrrrrrrrrr! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!  
  
Liche: Forget it dude! Your cover's blown.  
  
Zombie: Damn you! Condemn!  
  
Fat Dude: What the?  
  
Liche: There's little numbers floating around our head!  
  
15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!  
  
Liche & F. Dude: Daaaah!  
  
If level is divisible by 2, then death.  
  
.............................................  
  
Liche: Dude, we're level one.  
  
Fat Dude: Let's get him!  
  
Zombie: Okay, okay. I'll get on the cart.  
  
Liche: Nine GP!  
  
Fat Dude: Sure.  
  
The fat guy pays the Liche. The fat dude walks back to his house.  
  
Liche: Don't worry, i'll take you to see the boss.  
  
Zombie: Cool...  
  
Chocobo zooms through the town, crashing into buildings as he goes.  
  
Zombie: Why is there a chocobo on rocket booster rollerblades smacking into buildings at high force?  
  
Liche: That kind of thing is common in fanfiction.  
  
Zombie: Oh...  
  
Scene 3  
  
Chocobo zooms over a big bump and lands in a big pit of mud, splattering it all over a heap of idiots.  
  
Chocobo: Dude!  
  
Zidane: Oh, yes. Very good.  
  
Chocobo: Not that, i'm adressing you.  
  
Zidane: I'm not dude.  
  
Chocobo: Well, I can't just call you man.  
  
Zidane: I'm not a man.  
  
Chocobo: What?  
  
Zidane: I'm the star of a Final Fantasy game! By the RPG laws I can't be older than 18!  
  
Chocobo: Well, I can't just say "hey guy!"  
  
Zidane: You could call me Zidane!  
  
Chocobo: I didn't know you were called Zidane!  
  
Zidane: Who else has a tail?!  
  
Chocobo:... Unless someone yanked it off, i'm pretty sure i've got a tail!  
  
Dagger: Quina? That you? I found some lovely... er... never mind.  
  
Chocobo: Hi there, now, what knight lives in that castle?  
  
Zidane: I do!  
  
Chocobo: Well then, you're going to blooming well join my horde of idiots, or i'll peck your eyeballs out!  
  
Zidane: Er... ok-k-k-kay!  
  
Dagger: Never thought you'ed be scared of a Chocobo!  
  
Chocobo: You too!  
  
Dagger: O-o-o-o-o-okay the-e-e-e-e-e-en...  
  
And that was how Chocobo got his first team mates, verbal force.  
  
Scene 4, Great Forest  
  
Chocobo and gang zoom into a clearing with a bridge in the great forest. A battle in taking place. It appears to be between a frog and a guy wrapped up in fifty different types of assorted clothing. They are kicking the crap out of each other.  
  
Dagger: Hey, it's Quina!  
  
Gogo: Hey, it's Quina!  
  
Quina: You knew I was Quina!  
  
Gogo: I knew you were Quina!  
  
Quina: Exactly!  
  
Gogo: Exactly!  
  
Chocobo: Shut up, whoever you are!  
  
Gogo: Shut up, whoever you are!  
  
Chocobo: Don't speak to me like that! I'm a chocobo!  
  
Gogo: Don't speak to me like that! I'm a chocobo!  
  
Chocobo: No your not!  
  
Gogo: No, your not.  
  
Chocobo: I am so!  
  
Gogo: I am so!  
  
Chocobo: OoOoOoOoOoOoh!  
  
Gogo: Oooooooooooooh! ...Doh!  
  
The Frog lunges at the, Mimic, (Duh), who avoids the blow with a skilful side-step and parry, knocking away the frogs spoon. He then repeats Quina's move. The frog pulls out an evil looking fork, much longer than the Mimic's knife. It swings at Gogo, who ducks under the first swing, leaps over the second. He picks up the frog, and seems to be tired with copying. He chucks the frog over the side of the bridge. He stands with triumph. The frog climbs up and stands next to him.  
  
Quina: Quina...  
  
Gogo: ...And Quina.  
  
Chocobo: G'day, Quina, Quina.  
  
Quina: That idiot is not Quina!  
  
Gogo: That idiot is not Quina!  
  
Chocobo: Which?!  
  
Quina: Him!  
  
Gogo: Him!  
  
Quina: Humph! My... name... is..., Huuuuuuuuuum. Aha! My name is Gogo!  
  
Gogo: Humph! My... name... is..., Huuuuuuuuuum. Aha! My name is Gogo!  
  
Quina: See! There! Right there! He is Gogo!  
  
Gogo: See! Ther... MPH RMPH PHRMPH!  
  
Quina cups her hand over his mouth.  
  
Quina: And I am, Quina.  
  
FX: STAR WARS(tm) Theme music.  
  
Chocobo: Good. Well I am recruiting a heap of idiots.  
  
Gogo: I am recruiting a heap of idiots.   
  
Chocobo: Are you? What a coincedence! We must be brothers!  
  
Gogo: Are you?  
  
Quina: Yes, very nice. I don't suppose we've got anything else to do. We'll join. For a small fee...  
  
Chocobo: Sveeeeeet!  
  
Scene 5, Jidoor  
  
Jidoor. A whole lot of people are arguing with a Black Witch and a Paladin. They have a huge cage. The gang come and watch with interest.  
  
Chocobo: Ouch.  
  
Bob: We found a Golem, may we burn it?  
  
All: A Golem! Burn it!  
  
Chocobo: Ouch!  
  
Rydia: One, you do not burn Golems.  
  
Cecil: How do you know it is a Golem?  
  
All: It looks like one, yes it does.  
  
Cocobo: OUCH!  
  
Cecil: Bring it here.  
  
Jim: Oh, yes. Err... how do you open it's cage again?!  
  
Bob: I don't know.  
  
Chocobo: Get this thing out of my head!  
  
All: Does anyone?  
  
Zidane: Hey, have you tried pulling the lever?  
  
John: Lever, lever? There's a Lever?  
  
Zidane: It's big and pointy and sticking into Chocobo's head.  
  
All: Oh...  
  
The pull the lever. It opens. Out comes a unmistakable Golem.  
  
Golem: Me not Golem! Me Tarzan!  
  
Rydia: But you look like one.  
  
Golem: Me dressed up by Bob. Me King Kong!  
  
Bob: I didn't! I didn't!  
  
Golem: He didn't!  
  
Cecil: What? Are you a Golem?  
  
Golem: Me Dark Twilkitri!  
  
Cecil: What?! Beat him up! Hey Zidane, how come you haven't been coming to our meetings?  
  
He gets out a little flute and plays it. The background goes a funny color and little lines appear everywhere. Some people appear there.  
  
Fighter: Fighter!  
  
Cecil: Cecil!  
  
Terra: Terra!  
  
Zidane: Zidane!  
  
Squall: Squall!  
  
Cloud: Cloud!  
  
Ben: Ben!  
  
Butz: Butz!  
  
All: ...And together we're the Main F.F charecters! Ouch! Get your hair off me, Cloud!  
  
Cloud: Grrrrrr...  
  
Zidane: Alright, where did the golem go?  
  
Chocobo(Hiding something behind his back): Away! Right, quick and easy. You are all now members of a horde of idiots! (to his back) Run...  
  
Golem: Thanks!  
  
F.F squad + Rydia: Fine.  
  
Chocobo: R-really?  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Well, thats pretty much it for chapter 1. Please tell me if you liked it or not. My next one will hopefully be better. It was pretty stupid. But then Monty Python and the Holy Grail is pretty stupid. So it should have been pretty stupid. And don't say you want me kicked off Fanfic. I wont go...  
  
The moonlight will surround you all.  
Megajason X. 


	2. Odin's Quest

Hey peoples, it's me again, much to your dismay. Megajason X. I can only do a short one 'cause I don't have any time. Oh, yeah. I forgot to disclaim this. I hereby disclaim that I do not own these Squaresoft characters.  
  
=Chocobo and the Holy Magicite, part 2=  
=======================================  
  
Scene 6: The Book of the story.  
  
So Chocobo recruited many idiots. Many will be generic characters, but some will be main characters.  
These will be the main people.  
  
(Hand opens book)  
  
Reuben, of Mystic Quest Legend.  
  
(Hand turns page)  
  
Umaro, of FF6  
  
(Hand turns page)  
  
Kain, of FF4  
  
(Hand turns page)  
  
Zidane, of FF9  
  
(Hand turns page)  
  
And Mog, of Chocobo Racing...  
  
(Hand turns page)  
  
Who nearly fought Bahamut in hand to hand combat...  
  
(Hand turns page)  
  
Who nearly stood up to a couple of sylphs...  
  
(Hand turns page)  
  
And personally wet himself when told to feed his pet rabbit...  
  
Mog: Ay!  
  
Chocobo: Oh well, we've sort of got a good main team...  
  
Zidane: Ay! I'm cool!  
  
Chocobo: I'm sure, to many you are not.  
  
Umaro: Arrrgh.  
  
Kain: Look at me! I can jump higher than you!  
  
Reuben: Why am I here? Everybody hates Mystic Quest legend!  
  
Hand: Let me finish! Theres still Cid, Quina, Gogo, Dagger, Squall, Bahamut...  
  
Mog: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Chocobo: Get hold of yourself, man!  
  
Hand: Oh, yeah. Theres also Cloud!  
  
Everybody: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
They all run away.  
  
Hand: Wait, but... Ouch! Damn, guy! What kind of hair gel do you use?  
  
Cloud: (Stares blankly) ...... Eeeeek! It's me! My hair's gonna get me!  
  
He chases after the others. Hand sweatdrops.  
  
Hand: Okay then... I'll just go for a coffee break... er... I think...  
  
Scene 7  
  
Bahamut: So, you little moogle. Where's the fire?  
  
Mog: I want my mummy!  
  
Gogo: I want my mummy.  
  
Chocobo: Well, gee Gogo. I thought you had more courage than that.  
  
Gogo: Ahhh...  
  
Dagger: Look!  
  
They all stop and look.  
  
Chocobo: Mysidia!  
  
Zidane: Mysidia...  
  
Kain: Mysidia...  
  
Umaro: ARRGH!!  
  
Chocobo: Sh! Idiots, welcome too your new home!  
  
Cid: What? Mysidia?  
  
Chocobo: No, you idiot. Chocobo forest!  
  
Scene 8: Chocobo forest  
  
Normal chocobos, black chocobos, white chocobos, chubby chocobos, every type of chocobo is engaged in song...  
  
Chocobos:  
We're Knights of the round table  
We dance when're we're able  
We do routines and chorus scenes  
With footwork impeccable  
We dine well here in Camalot  
And eat ham and jam and spam alot  
  
Back at the gang...  
  
Chocobo: On second thoughts lets not got to chocobo forest.  
  
Idiots: Right.  
  
Chocobo: It is a silly place.  
  
Idiots: Right.  
  
Chocobo: They don't even have there own theme song.  
  
Idiots: Right.  
  
..................................................................................................................................................................................................  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chocobo: Oh, yeah! Odin! I have acomplished my task!  
  
Odin: Oh, yes. You remembered, did you?  
  
Chocobo: Yup!  
  
Odin: Lets cut to the chase.  
  
Chocobo: I don't have any scissors! (drumroll)  
  
Odin: Do you try and impress your other freinds like that?  
  
Chocobo's mind: If I say no, it will be embarassing if he didn't find it funny...  
  
Chocobo: Yes, it happens all the time!  
  
Odin: All the time?  
  
Chococo's mind: If I say no, I won't be worthy because I'll seem like a liar  
...  
  
Chocobo: All the time.  
  
Odin: Tell your freinds, I really feel sorry for them...  
  
Chocobo's mind: If I disagree...  
  
Chocobo: They would be deeply touched.  
  
Odin: Are you being a smart alec to GOD!?  
  
Chocobo's mind: If I say no, I'll seem like more of a smart alec...  
  
Chocobo: Yes, I mean... Why do I listen to you anyway. You're the dumbest thing on the planet!  
  
Odin: ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TROUBLE!?  
  
Chocobo: No, I'm talking to my mind!  
  
Odin: You're right about the dumbest part!  
  
Chocobo: Can we end this?  
  
Odin: Alright. That small dirty rock half in the mud is the Holy Magicite. It is your task to get it.  
  
Chocobo: Easy enough. (Starts towards the magicite)  
  
Squall: Its a hologram, you idiot.  
  
Chocobo: .... Oh, yeah.  
  
  
  
  
  
Well thats it for today. I told I could only do a shorty. And the three secnes I did were short too...  
Oh, well. See you next time!  
  
The moonlight will suround you all- Megajason X 


End file.
